You say most foreigners met their wives in a bar like it is a bad thing .
Most foreigners met their First wife in a bar.
The difference this time is that he is in love.
I agree with Chuck. Plenty guys meet their women in bars right here in the good ole USA. It's probably the same all around the world.
You do not say it, but your article seems to have give a negative connotation to a "bargirl". What man wouldn't want that girl in the top picture to love him? Just because she has been driven to taking a job as a GRO because of the poor country, economics and trying to support her family , doesn't make her a bad.
That's the thing about your writing that is so exhausting. You hint and tiptoe around BUT YOU DO NOT SAY IT. Are you intentionally vague? Attempting to be artistic? Or do you want to give yourself an out? If you are called out you can flip flop?
I see the Hash House Harriers poster in the background. Were you there to go on a run?
You're on the mark. Methinks the truth hurts for those married to (former) bargirls. A leopard doesn't change its stripes.
But hey for the guys who marry these women... Don't STOP Believin'.
Based on what I've seen in Thailand and Philippines, these relationships usually end up in divorce.
A good friend married a bargirl. He was under 40, in good shape, faithful, and definitely not like the guys you usually see in the bars. He had a "White Knight Complex" I guess. He did everything for her and her Filipino-Brit son, but it wasn't enough. As soon as she got to the U.S. she stole the "living expense money," gambled most of it away, and had a "baby out of wedlock." Still my friend was too kind-hearted and couldn't put himself up to dumping her. So I bought her a one-way ticket to Manila myself, because she had wrecked my friend's finances to the point where he couldn't put food on the table much less buy a ticket. It is probably the best investment I've made for a friend in my life. The real zinger is a mutual friend told me, he was walking around Angeles City, when he heard his name being called...and guess what-- it was my friend's ex-wife still doing the "P" thing.
I haven't met any woman I'd want to date in these kinds of bars, but when you've been on the road for a while, it is nice to see some tantilizing hot bodies on stage. Just don't forget who you are dealing with, because a bargirl will have your name remembered, and your personality type analyzed. And it says as much about the guys, including myself, who stop in these places, as it does for the women who work there.
I personally don't understand the logic in this post. Your going to date (and if your lucky) marry the type of people you hang out with. If you don't want to marry a "bargirl" then it seems to me, you shouldn't be hanging out in bars. I guess to me what your really saying is 90 of foreigners hang out in bars. No wonder most girls are embarrased to hang out with foreigners, I wouldn't want to be pegged by society as an outcast. Who wants to be an outcast?
What's interesting is white women who go to a non-white foreign country and marry locals, who consider a white woman a step up the social ladder. A woman who is seen as unattractive in the States can get married in another culture where your face is less important than your skin color....
John, this post it to give a heads up to people who tell men they can find a wife in Thailand or the Philippines, almost no point in going if you want a non-bar-girl.
John when writing if I derive all the conclusions readers do two things, they do not read and they get very angry. The anger comes because they consider direct comments as insults. You are correct in your deductions.
I am happy, so far people have provoked at me, but nobody has revoke or denied the percentages I have derived.
Well you sure aren't going to find a "non bar girl" hanging around bars, now are you Andy?
I know many guys from around the world who has found true love in the Philippines. Your "percentages" area gross exaggeration.
Living like you do Andy, just off the bottom in cheap lodging, pinching your pennies, pesos, birr and cedi, posting insulting essays to get your clicks up, I can see why you never meet interesting, well to do people, You don't see them except from afar, and those who do have the misfortune to actually interact with you are probably turned off by your negativity.
Where to find "non bargirl" wife prospects in the Philippines? Shop girls, they have a job and are working to support their extended families. Medical centers, nurses, med students, medical technologists. Business district, secretaries, business owners, entrepreneurs. And let's not forget the Church.
But you have to put in the time and energy to develop a relationship. Hit and run won't work with a good Filipina girl. And hit and run is all you have time for Andy.
Time to load up the packs and head on out to your next "adventure". I doubt the Philippines will even know you're gone.
What does the word "bad" mean, anyway? Bad according to who's standards? Yes, I understand the concept here, but why are the girs/women 'bad', and the men are even sometimes considered the victims? Is it not the economy and/or circumstances that force the majority of these women to do what is necessary to survive?
Had a few conversations with some of these 'bad' women, and asked why they did what they did. Most common answer was money secondly, they were generally treated as human being with a brain by foreigners, rather than an object to be used and disgarded.
I wish it wasn't true Andy.
I went to Thailand for vacation in April. I did not go to meet bargirls at all but I was surprised by how friendly and beautiful some of them are. Some of them seemed to be just normal gilrs hanging out in the bar but if you think about it, that is highly unlikely a normal Thai girl would be hanging out in a bar frequented by farang. So sad for us and them.
WOW! I stumbled upon this website as I innocently googled "traveling hobo" as that is exactly what I am........and this is what I found.
I can't say that this is what I was expecting, and perhaps it's simply poor timing, but I read through the post and comments and I feel compelled to comment as well.
First, I really like the lady in yellow burning a hole through the back of your girlfriend in the first picture. I think I like this lady.
Next, I like the comment about the "white knight" complex. Is there really such a thing for a person who travels to another country searching for true love and companionship?? I believe a true "white knight" would travel off to some third world country stricken by poverty, natural disaster, war, or political turmoil and donate his/her time, expertise, and ability rather than going to a bar, meeting a girl, bringing her home, convincing him/herself that they love each other and that everything is going to end happily ever after. Both scenarios are a bit self fulfilling but one is much more selfish than the other (on both sides of the coin). The way I see it, the bargirl wants a better life and she believes it is possible to find this better life in the arms of a foreigner - and the foreigner wants a wife that his insecurities won't allow him to have back home. Personally, it seems like a good match to me - and if/when things fall apart there shouldn't be much of a surprise.
It seems to me that it's very understandable for the locals to consider girls who talk to foreigners as trash when a significant portion of the foreigners traveling to a place like the Philippines are traveling there for the girls...........PLUS - it's not like this is a difficult situation to overcome - if your intentions are sincere people in these countries do not lack the ability to trust - you just start with the initial handicap of having to earn it.........you are in their land there's no reason that everything or anything should be given to you because you are a foreigner.
Yikes - I better quit preaching to the choir - sometimes I get a little riled up.
I've been enjoying your blog (thank you) for a few years now and you do have a "thing" about white guys in these countrys. Stay away from the tourist and red light districts (Malate) and your '90' will evaporate.
I think my expat friends and their wives would be insulted with your views of them. The vast majority of filipino woman are morally upright people. Far more so than where we come from.
I've got a suggestion for your next destination. Go back th the Philippines with a homework assignment 1. Meet as many expats as you can and live in their world the whole time you are there. 2. Don't go anywhere near redlight or heavily touristed areas for the duration.
I think it would be great if you conciously challenged your cliches and maybe find out something you didn't know before. I'd look forward to reading about that experience. Mabuhay!
I tell the truth as I see it, not as you see it, I am not trying to make friends by writing. This is the essential and pivotal problem in the Philippines people have a problem of truth and honesty.
Maybe you should actually speak to some people who has been there. I married a bargirl 8 years ago. We have two kids, run a small business together. Spend holidays together with her family in the Philippines and occassionally go to visit mine in the US. We have a great marriage and are both very much in love. But the fact is i met her in a bar and I barfined her and took her to my hotel.. We are all just people, people.
I live in Chiangmai, Thailand for 15 years. I married a LISUgirl.
My two daughters 13 and 15 are in high school.
The teacher explained that a Thai girl only can marry with a asian man,
Otherwise she is acting as a massagegirl or a bargirl.
A girl alone going in a bar is considered in middleclasses as a hooker.
Many expats have a middleclass income but behave as low class.
Richard, did you know this before your daughters came home and told you?
It seems that many men here are finding excuses to make it alright to marry a prostitute. Come on guys. Think with your big head, not the other one.
Are you the moral police. Is it not alright to marry a prostitute. Are they aliens. I reread the posts and I dont see anyone making excuses to "make it alright". I just see some honest comments by guys who are not hung up on the fact that the woman they have chosen to marry has been paid for sex.
Bro, if you have ever dated any woman, white, brown, yellow or green, you can be sure that she has been paid for sex. Maybe not in cash, but the small change that these bargirls charge is nothing compared to the wallet extraction that your average white girl will impose.
I say three cheers to a man who is sure enough of himself to pull a girl out of a bar and marry her. Right on.
stay away from pino women 90 will rip u off ive had it happen and she wasnt a bar girl and ive met many others that have lost everything , and they have no shame in doing it
Once a filipina .. always a filipina.
Filipinas have a bad record .. they are just after one thing .. money. Its in the blood. They get peer pressured to marry a rich guy, they constantly ask about money in conversations and they will forget that the guy is spending more on them in one day than they earnt in a month. They have short memories but big eyes.. for your wallet. Many people i know here in the Philippines have been scammed by filipinas. Take a look at some of the western countries where they have cleaned out their husbands. I know of one lady that my friend works with and she is on her 7th husband in 20 years. She even laughs at the fact she has made money out of each of the guys shes divorced or thats dropped dead on her.
Stay away. Just have sex and go. They are more trouble than what they are worth.
And if you are blind enough just remember this conversation
i overhead a girl talking to another lady and she was filipina. She said "they are from Australia" and the other said ... are they rich. and the lady said yes. and the other clapped. Its a morally corrupt society that would sell their grandmothers for $2 when i hear statements like that.
It is true that some filipino ask money from foriegners but are you sure they are females? Many of those who ask for money are shemales and not really filipina women. If you are smart enough you should have met her first before giving cash or anything cuz even webcams now can be faked. Generally filipina women are shy and proud,though it is not 100 true to all filipina but generalizing your opinion to all filipinas is unfair. Every race has its flaws and even women in your country has maybe you just dont know where to look for nice and decent women it may be a filipina or not. I am a filipina myself and have also friends from other countries but we have never discussed money or anythin. I have shemale friends who does ask money from thier chatmates but i cant really influenced them to stop even if i strongly felt what they do is wrong but it is still thier choice, the thing there is ''u wont be decieved if u dont want to be decieved'' so make sure you are chatting to a genuine filipina women.